“Mom’s Words Of Wisdom”
As a mom- I never want to see my son disappointed, but at the same time, I am not an “everyone should get a trophy” kind of mom. I believe that we learn through disappointments, and that they teach us lessons. If we all get trophies just by being present, how does that encourage us to do better, to be better?
When we are faced with disappointment- we can learn from it, and make changes so that we can do better next time. It can happen when we apply for a job and we don’t get it, when we don’t’ come in first in a race, or when we don’t make the team we are hoping to make.
I have been there. I remember not making a varsity team in 11th grade, when all of my friends did. I was beyond disappointed. But, I learned, and I worked hard for that whole year, and made the team when I was a senior.
My son was trying out for a junior varsity basketball team last week. There have been times during his years of playing basketball that he didn’t make a team that he wanted to. The disappointment was hard- but it made him work harder. He learned and improved, and then made the team the next time.
My husband and I have always taught our son to work hard, to be respectful, and to be coachable.
We also teach him that you are not always going to get everything you want. If you give it everything you have, if you try your hardest, then you have done your job and it is out of your hands for the moment-sometimes we are not someone else’s idea of the best player, employee, etc. That is out of our control.
I shared some “Mom” wisdom last week when my son had his tryouts (he made the team!). Each day, I had a message to share with him.
Here is my “Mom” wisdom that you might like to share with your kids (or use yourself):
- Grit and Grace- It is about giving all that you have, and leaving it on all out on the court. It is about pushing yourself, giving your best, and also have the grace needed to be respectful, thankful and coachable. To be able to listen to feedback, to help out a teammate, to be a part of the bigger picture.
- It’s Not About You- when we are trying out for a team, or a job- it can become about US, when it should be about THEM. What can you bring to the team? How can you make this team be better, to play better? What can you do to help drive the success of everyone?
- Gratitude- In our family- we live a life of gratitude. We talk about what we are grateful for each day. It is about being grateful that you can walk, run, jump and shoot. Being grateful to have the opportunity to even tryout. It is remembering every coach that got you to this moment, with a word of encouragement, teaching you, and coaching you.
- You were designed by God for greatness and purpose. No one else on the planet can do what you can do. You are unique, and you offer unique talents and gifts to the team. Figure out what they are, and show up and bring it! Your team and coaches are depending on you!
- Shine Your Light- leave it all out on the court. Be you, unapologetically you. You aren’t as tall as the other kids? SO what! Your shot is not as great as someone else's? SO what! What can YOU do? What can you do that no one else can do the way you do? Can you be the loudest on defense? Block the shots? Run the fastest? Whatever you can do, do it well. A TEAM is made up of players with unique talent and skills that will hopefully come together to work as one unit. Together, you will all be better.
And it doesn’t end with the tryouts- my mom wisdom hat will stay on during the season, as I listen to my son recap practices, and eventually watch games, I will be there to offer my cheerleading, thoughts and insights (which is different than criticism!) . Basketball is really just an extension of life- and I believe that what kids learn on the court, and in practices and tryouts, will help shape the way they handle disappointments, and successes in life.
Here is to a great season.
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Sheri is a mom, wife, coach, author, speaker, and educator. She helps women in midlife to gain energy, be healthy, and to find JOY again. She lives near Cinderella's castle in Winter Garden. Florida with her family.
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